| I like going to rummage sales and auctions up in Muskoka. All sorts of hardware. People in the city like there things new and clean to go with their manicured lawns and expensive furniture. Up north old beat up stuff with a bit of rust seems to help blend in with he natural surroundings. Once I bought a barbecue made from half and oil drum welded on to a heavy steel base. I imagined it being used to barbecue steaks for 40 or 50 guys a night at a hunt camp or for guys working on the railway. I had to have it. The bidding on this prize got fierce. The auctioneer started out at who will give me 20 dollars. After a few minutes of hoopla things got tense. “who will give me 20 ... who will give me 20. Ok who will give me $10 still no bids finally who will give me $5. well has you can imagine I just had to have it so price was no object. I weighed in with I bid $5.00 with a sound of determination. Quickly I heard goingoncetwicesold. It was now my duty to care for this much prized treasure. My wife looks with disgust “you know we are passing the dump on the way back to the cottage! So now that I own this beautiful piece of art how do I get it home. Let me see it is dirty full of rust, greasy and too big to put in the back of my car. The solution was to drive back to the cottage. Take out the seats of my van and pick up the “piece of junk” as we where now starting to call it. Carefully I laid down plastic in the back of the van and carefully picked up the barbecue. “I thought to my self “oh god this is heavy I stager to the van drop the barbecue not so carefully into the van and in the process ruptured the plastic that was protecting the interior. big junks of ash dust rust envelop the car, coming out from what seem like pores in the metal as though this big mental object had a skin that could breath. I coughed and sputtered and checked to see if I had just given myself a hernia. Like the routine my doctor gives me. I let the dust settle got in the van and drove to the cottage with the windows open. I needed the air in order to breath but the gush of air also kept the dirt circulating with in the van all the way there. On reaching my cottage I grabbed the hulking mess on rust flung it out of the van and on to the ground. After vacuuming out the van, having it shampooed over and over again I just could not get the smell out. This was 4 years ago and my van still smells like the charred smell of a forest fire. My van was even stolen. I can just imagined the kids who stole it wondering “is something burning” . Just like an accidental pregnancy one is left wondering was it worth that one moment of spontaneity. I had to go through such pain and discomfort but now that it is here I would not have it any other way. I wish I could say the same about all my children... well actually I can say that about all my kids but I just had to through that into the story to keep them on their toes. It is so fun to have people over for a barbecue. Propane tanks! we don't need no stinking propane tanks. I can Chuck a few logs onto the Barbie let it burn down to coals and do it the old fashioned way with the deep curve of the oil drum helping to keep and even temperature and adding the little bit of smoky flavour that I get complemented so often about. |
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